Wed 16 Feb 2011
Victor’s Quick Review of 10 Books On Marriage
Posted by Chris Oswald under Counseling
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John Piper’s This Momentary Marriage. I’m biased. I like Piper’s writing. I found this book to be very helpful in showing marriage’s good, tough, and covenant love purposes in the light of the gospel. This book’s emphasis is to remember the gospel as staying married is not about being ‘in love’ but about keeping the covenant modeled after Christ and the church. Another plus, it can be downloaded for free at desiringgod.org
Douglas Wilson’s Reforming Marriage. This is an excellent resource as it’s plain spoken and direct to the point. It gives a great gospel-centered view of headship and submission, roles in marriage, conflict resolution, courtesy, sex, and children. What I didn’t like was the chapter about divorce.
Paul Tripp’s What Did You Expect? This was a great book for me. It is very real. It was very hard for me to read because so many of the stories he tells sound like mine, and then they take a dark turn. Sometimes there is redemption. Sometimes not. It asks for six commitments – including confession, forgiveness, protection of the marriage, and working on love. He makes sure one doesn’t miss the point that marriage is not trivial and definitely not the fairy tale most of us think it is.
Dave Harvey’s When Sinners Say ‘I Do’ was soaked in the gospel. A very good book to remind us of the power of the gospel to help sinners overcome our tendencies coming from the fall. The downside of the book is that it’s written in a very conversational way — to me. There are lots of word play, some repetition of the same things. I love that it points us constantly to the gospel. I don’t like the way it’s written. Angela, however, profited greatly from the stories he tells to help give illustrations of his points.
Douglas Wilson’s For a Glory and a Covering was a new Reforming Marriage. It actually doesn’t repeat itself very much and had some good points to bring up from a fresh presentation of the topic of marriage. An excellent discussion of the roles of the man and the wife. I benefited from some “new” topics such as studying the spouse, love and respect, wise words in marriage, growing old together, widowhood, and a discussion of how we were designed to be sexual.
Andreas Kostenberger’s God, Marriage, and Family. A very long book. The first four/five chapters (can’t remember the right number) deal with marriage – showing us its different aspects but finally defines it as a covenant. This is a very comprehensive book dealing with all sorts of different issues in marriage and the family from a theological perspective. A very “technical” book – not for someone who is not academically inclined.
I read also Wilson’s Fidelity – an excellent resource on issues relating to men and being a one woman man. Written for men.
I also read Wilson’s Her Hand in Marriage – a great book dealing with the importance of courtship in our modern world
I also read Piper’s A Sweet and Bittter Providence - a short book dealing with Ruth and Boaz and how they should be our model of sexual purity
Mark Driscoll has a couple of chapters in Religion Saves – one on birth control and one on dating. Quick reads. I don’t necessarily vouch 100% for his thoughts but for the more mature, discerning Christian, they are probably worth taking a quick look at.
Tue 7 Dec 2010
The Wonder of it ALL
Posted by Rodney Fickas under Counseling
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The human heart was made to stand in awe of the ultimate Wonder – we were made to admire Jesus Christ the Son of God – Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace, King of kings and Lord of lords. Our hearts should be filled with the wonder of all that Christ has been, is and will be.
But this sense of wonder has been noticeably absent during this time of year not only in the world but also in the church. Oh sure, we have slogans like “Jesus is the reason for the season” and “Let’s put Christ back in Christmas” but have we truly been in wonder of it all. And when I say all, I mean ALL of it.
We seem captivated by the star that led the wise men to the Christ child but do you ever wonder about that very star being created by this same child. For it says in Colossians that “by him (meaning Christ) all things were created: things in heaven and on earth; all things were created by him and for him.” Why not wonder about that this Christmas?
We seem enamored by the Christ child lying in a wooden manger but do you ever wonder about this same child as the God-man hanging on a wooden cross. He was not only our High-Priest but also our sacrifice. Why not wonder about that this Christmas?
We are taken back by the gifts brought to the Christ child but do you ever wonder about the glory Christ left behind. The weight of that glory infinitely outweighs all the wealth of the world. Why not wonder about that this Christmas?
We seem appalled at all King Herod did to eradicate the Christ child but do you ever wonder about the humility of a King becoming a baby. There have been many babies born that have become kings but only once has a King become a baby! Why not wonder about that this Christmas?
We are amazed at His first coming but do you ever wonder about His second coming. His first coming was about reconciliation but His second coming is about judgment and the restoration of His Kingdom. Why not wonder about that this Christmas?
It may be that the world has missed something far greater and richer in Christmas because the hearts of those who have been recreated to stand in awe of the ultimate Wonder have not been in wonder of it ALL. No wonder – there hasn’t been much to wonder about at Christmas.
Regain the wonder of it ALL this Christmas and may the world see that this Christ child lying in a manger was our Prophet, Priest and King. Not only was He born as a baby, but that He lived a sinless life that led to His death as the ultimate sacrifice for our sins. And may the Gospel continually transform our hearts to be lowly and our minds to think highly of Christ. Changed hearts made possible by an unchangeable Christ. The wonder of it ALL is wonderful indeed.
Sun 5 Dec 2010
Christmas Holiness
Posted by Chris Oswald under Counseling
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One way that we should celebrate Christmas is to engage in holy living. 1 John 3:8 says, “Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.” The incarnation was God’s great assault on Satan’s encampment. Since Christ came to earth to destroy sin, it is more than fitting that His people should celebrate his coming by cheerfully “lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely…” as Christmas affords a unique way of fixing our eyes on the author and founder of our faith.
Tue 23 Nov 2010
Leadership Lessons From Philemon
Posted by Chris Oswald under Counseling
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Paul’s Leadership was CREDIBLE:
I am a prisoner of the Lord. My commitment to follow Christ is demonstrated by my actions. Philemon 1
Paul’s Leadership Was HISTORICAL:
I am an old man. I’ve seen more of God’s story than you have. Philemon 9
Paul’s Leadership Was SPIRITUAL:
I am called by God to lead. I humbly lead as one entrusted with leadership. Philemon 8
Paul’s Leadership Was RELATIONAL:
I am your friend. I have served you well by giving you the bread of life. Philemon 19
Paul’s Leadership Was SCRIPTURAL:
I am asking you to do things that are consistent with the gospel and the clear teaching of scripture. Philemon 15-16
Paul’s Leadership Was GENTLE:
Rather than dogmatically demand you to do something, I will teach and encourage you to obey. Philemon 14
Paul’s Leadership Was HUMBLE:
I need your help. I need your friendship. I need to be encouraged by your obedience. Philemon 7, 20
Paul’s Leadership Was PRACTICAL:
Here’s what I’m asking you to do and here’s how I will help you do it. Philemon 16-22
Paul’s Leadership Was HOPEFUL:
I fully expect you to exceed what I’m asking and I look forward to enjoying your friendship in the future. Philemon 21-22
Fri 29 Oct 2010
Reading the Psalms, part 1
Posted by Chris Oswald under Preaching, Psalms
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For the past several years, I have attempted to read through the Psalms every month. I have often failed. Nevertheless, the effort has been a great source of encouragement to me. One could say that the great work of sanctification is simply a rewiring of the heart to love what God loves and hate what God hates. (Romans 12:9) The Psalms help me do that.
I’m going to attempt to write a series of posts which lay down what I believe to be a necessary set of theological insights that maximize the Psalms’ blessing.
What do the Psalmists mean when they refer to themselves righteous? They cannot mean righteousness that is native to their own nature. David prays in Psalm 143, “Enter not into judgment with your servant, for no one living is righteous before you.”
And yet David often appeals to his righteousness for God’s protection and blessing. Psalm 11:3, Psalm 34, Psalm 37, Psalm 52:6 (one Psalm after David’s confession Psalm).
The only way the Psalms are going to be any help to you and I is through the imputed righteousness of Jesus Christ. The righteousness which we need is neither native or natural but rather foreign (coming from outside of us) and supernatural.
Before the Psalms can be our prayer book, Christ must be our righteousness. Unless we are confident in the crucifixion of our moral depravity through Christ’s atonement and the imputation of Christ’s moral excellence through redemption, we will read Psalms like this:
“But the righteous shall be glad; they shall exult before God; they shall be jubilant with joy!” Psalm 68:3
And commit one of two errors:
1) We may think ourselves righteous by a standard which God himself rejects (and thus become prideful and even more unrighteous). Someone seeking comfort from Psalms about God’s blessing on the righteous might think to themselves, “well, I am more righteous than most.” Such thinking is sin.
2) We may think ourselves too wicked to expect good things from God. For the Christian to think this way is a great sin. Christ died to make these promises true for the elect.
So one of the effects regular Psalm reading can have on our hearts and mind is that it forces us into “gospel thinking.” In order to receive appropriate encouragement from the many promises for the righteous, we must remind ourselves of the source of our righteousness.
Christ alone. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
Wed 27 Oct 2010
Four Reasons We Need Biblical Fellowship
Posted by Chris Oswald under Corporate Worship, Counseling, Home Life, Preaching
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FOUR REASONS FOR ACCOUNTABILITY GROUPS: FRUIT, FAILURE, FLAME, FIGHT
The ultimate goal of an accountability group is to live out the vision provided in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12,
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.
10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?
12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
These four verses address four common problems all Christians encounter as they follow Christ.
1) THE CHRISTIAN LIFE IS ABOUT SEEKING FRUIT
Verse 9 identifies the issue of FRUIT. “Synergy” is a modern word reflecting this ancient truth. Something special occurs when people work together. Often more is accomplished together than what could have been accomplished individually. This is more true in the Christian life than anywhere else. Biblical fellowship produces fruit that would have otherwise been difficult to obtain for the individual.
2) THE CHRISTIAN LIFE IS ABOUT GETTING UP AFTER FALLING DOWN
Verse 10 addresses the problem of FAILURE. When Christians fall into sin, they need other Christians there to lift them up. Christianity is not a boot-strap religion. We admit our need for Christ’s constant aide – often taking the form of other Christians.
3) THE CHRISTIAN LIFE IS ABOUT KEEPING THE FIRE GOING
Verse 11 reminds us that we constantly need to fan the FLAME of the gospel in our lives. Having others walk with us keeps us warm even when we might be growing cold on our own.
4) THE CHRISTIAN LIFE IS ABOUT FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT
Verse 12 tells us that the Christian life is a FIGHT. We grow weak and weary in constant combat. Having others there to fight along side of us is essential.
Tue 26 Oct 2010
Building Our Children
Posted by Chris Oswald under Home Life
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Here is a short word about building up our children in the Lord based on my morning reading of Psalm 127. Lets pray and work together toward this end…
Unless the LORD builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
A Call To Build Children
The ancient cities were always on guard. Whatever was constructed within a city was done so with a potential attack in view. Homes were built into the walls as additional fortification, watchmen were placed on the roofs to spot potential threats. In Psalm 127 we see the ancient connection made between home-building and war-making. That connection continues in the spiritual realm.
This Psalm tells us at least three things:
1) The greatest thing we can build as a city of God (a local church) is the children in our midst.
2) Mirroring Christ’s step on the serpent’s head, our children are going to be used by God to do damage to the enemy.
3) While planning, diligence and toil are required in this work, all of that effort must be done through His strength: cooperatively, prayerfully, restfully.
Dear Father,
The children in our midst are blessings which will outlive whatever wealth we may build in our lifetimes. We claim Your promise to make our children both a great fortification against the enemy’s attack and weapons in your hand that will do the enemy great harm.
Lord, turn our hearts toward building up our children. More than careers or other limited securities, let us go on the offense against your enemy, raising up arrows, strong, straight and sharp.
Let us labor first and foremost at building up godly children. Let that be our focus. Let us see them as the future army, prevailing against the gates of hell. Let us raise up worshipful warriors. As we set our hearts toward this work,
You Oh Lord must build through our building
You Oh Lord must watch through our oversight
You Oh Lord must give us peace in our labor
Let our building, watching and working not be done in fear or anxiety. But rather in confidence of Your blessing through Christ.
Wed 20 Oct 2010
Verbs For Elder/Pastors
Posted by Chris Oswald under Elder, Preaching
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What We Are Being Called To Do:
Command Verbs In 1 Timothy 4:6-16
Put these things before the brothers
(verb here is “suggest” or “place under” — like waking someone up with the smell of coffee, or alluring patrons with the smell of fresh baked bread).
Being trained
(word here is literally nourished – filled up with, strengthened by)
And the good doctrine you have followed
(often used “to follow beside a person”)
Train yourself
(word here for exercise naked, stripped down, no boasting, covering up, laid bare, no hindrances, get serious)
Toil
(word is always connected with getting tired & weary – can have athletic connection)
Strive
(compete, agonize, fight – also has athletic connections)
Hope
(common word for hope in scripture)
Command
(most commonly “command” but also instruct, order, insist, charge – definitely a firm, masculine form of instruct)
Teach
(always teach in the NT. A contrast is probably in order given its placement with “command.” Certainly less forceful than “command.”)
Exemplify
(set an example, set yourself up as a model)
Read
(public isn’t actually in the text but the word is always used in this form for public reading. Yet private reading is definitely not excluded.)
Encourage
(the word here is connected to “paraklete” which is an office of the Holy Spirit (comforter, teacher, encourager) also used for Barnabas)
Teach
(this word is often the counterpart to preaching. It has in view instruction and is translated as “instruction” a few times in the NT)
Do not neglect
(word used in Matthew 22 where the friends ignored the invitation to the wedding feast. Also used as “neglect so great a salvation” – Hebrews)
Put into practice
(tense and word use suggests continual diligence in practice)
Devote
(apocryphal uses are helpful here. Means filled up, immersed in, “up to his ears in”)
Pay close attention
(hold fast, keep a firm grip, don’t become loose with)
Continue
(keep up with, don’t neglect, stay up to, see it through, don’t get bored with or become discouraged)
Mon 18 Oct 2010
The Deist Dad
Posted by Chris Oswald under Home Life, Sermon Scraps
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A man’s view of God fundamentally shapes his approach to fatherhood. I would argue that America has never been fully Christian or fully Trinitarian. Whether or not you would concede that point, I think most would agree that the Deist view of a powerful but impersonal god is practically prevalent in America today.
The god of today’s fathers is himself an absentee father. A distant provider with far better things to do than condescend into his children’s daily lives.
So when John the Baptist was tasked with turning “the hearts of the fathers to the children,” he was called to the business of eradicating the national conception of an intertestamental absentee god with more important things to do. While continuing to honor the transcendence of God, John the Baptist began preaching “Immanuel, God is with us.” And that made all the difference.
When men begin to believe that their God is simeltaniously strong and loving (Psalm 62:11) the force of that reality begins to alter how they care for their own children. When they see God as immanently perceptive and caring (Psalm 139), they begin to see living room wrestling matches, daily prayers and fully-orbed discipline as “natural” and recliner-driven, garage-habituating, hobby-focused fathering as “unnatural.”
Change a man’s view of God and you will change how he loves his kids.
